UCIkus: Haikus from the Class of 2013

by ursavoice

Our Classmates


Two thousand thirteen

Serio guey, it’s been fun

I’ll miss you baybee


The big mystery:

Whether Angel will show up

to graduation


Andrea Bentler

SBA Rep defends us

From all the young guns


Missed classes today

Peter, can I have your notes?

Oh, comedy gold


Objection, hearsay!

Oxman approaches the bench

Mock Trial over.


The day brightens up

The sun came out? No, it’s Meg

And she has cookies


Question was simple

Cue cold-call onanism

Talks for whole damn class


Worried the campus

Will suffer donut withdrawal

After Akhil leaves


Been awake for days

Something urgent to be done

Still slept more than Ed


Get my first client

Sunny asks, “but is he hot?”

Some things never change


The Class of 2013


Remember our class

As heroic whiners who

Freed you from ALWD


These awesome people

Brought here by shared hopes and dreams

And/or scholarships


Irvine, blah city

Better get some food before

The sun’s done setting


Two thousand thirteen

The adopted middle child

Of UCI law


The school becoming

Other than it ought to be

The sun still rises


UCI law school

I thank you eternally

For splitting the bill


I’m ever grateful

For the opportunity

But I’ll root elsewhere


On Institution-Building


Not scared of the bar

How can I possibly fail

when I know Tunkl


A degree’s fine, but

A lifetime right to name-drop

Chemerinsky, wins     


Wonder if my job

Will ever be as complex

As registration


Spring semester comes

Faculty all brilliant and

On sabbatical


Food, Food, Nowhere


Lori’s Kitchen:

We miss your wagon of grub

Apple fritter’ll do


Want to find a job

Almost as desperately

As a good sandwich


Food cart still sucks

But at least Which Wich is near

Still no sour candy